Follow these proven tips for men and women dating over 40, so you will save time & money, meet more interesting people and successfully find your perfect match.
Are you entering or for some reason re-entering the dating game, make sure to read the following tips to get started. Just make sure that you are in an overall positive state of mind. In other words: don’t start looking when your ex just left you, your partner just passed away or you are recently divorced.
First and foremost: there are more people over 40 than people under 40 using the Internet to find a date, so might as well join them to keep. But make sure you don’t look for a relation in order to forget a break up: make sure you heal yourself first, only then get into the datingscene again.
How can I mend a broken heart?
If you are heartbroken in one way or another, how to cope with a break up? You have to make sure to go through all these 4 fases:
- accept that the relation is over in stead of "being strong" and pretending nothing happened
- accept the pain in every moment of the day missing the other, you can ease the pain a bit with the help of your friends (having a good talk or a shoulder to lean on, go to the movies…) but that will be like a temporary painkiller. Continue to feel the pain until you notice the pain recedes.
- let go of the other! Don’t try to get you ex back but close the chapter.
- start a new chapter but start with yourself. Make sure you are a happy person who enjoys life he is having. Of course life is more fun when you have a fun partner. Fun partners are attracted to people who enjoy life!
So when you are heartbroken, make sure you follow the fases described above. Start dating again only when you are enjoying life again being on your won (how contradictory that sounds, it does attract what you need: another joyful match!).
Tips for dating over 40….
- Time is money. By now you will have some money to buy you time. So don’t waste your time sitting evenings in your local bar, just to be able to chat to a few singles that also happen to hangout there.
The best way to meet women is by spending some money on 1 or 2 serious big Internet dating sites, so in one evening you will be able to meet and chat many and many new people, from anywhere on the globe. And you don’t even have to dress up or drive the extra mile, you can do it from the comfort of your house, in your pajamas even.
- Transform your succes in the workingfield to the dating arena. How many job offers did you apply for in order to get the job you wanted? Same goes with dating: every unsuccessful date will bring you one step closer to your perfect match.
- Most likely you will have a busy life without much time to exercise. Make sure to change that! Go back to basics: don’t work your but of for gathering more unnecessary things, but use that energy to do some exercise to release your happy endorphins or adrenaline. It will improve your health and healthy people are much more attractive, so… exercise means more dates!
- For the men: at 40, there are more single women than men, so you will have a relatively bigger choice than the younger ones.
If you never read a book about how to court a women and if you have to spend 5 minutes with a women you have never met…: make sure you do the asking, she does the talking, you do the listening and you can be sure she will grant you another 5 minutes…
- For the women above 40: that means you have to up your game, but at this stage of your life, it should be up already: you know what you are looking for, you are happy with how you look and who you are, you have your emotions under control, you have the basic needs and don’t rely on men for anything.
Women over 40: do know that serious men are looking for independent, intelligent and interesting women. Keep in mind that the journey is more important than the destination and as such you will find both good friends and a partner. Also keep in mind that men basically want to feel like a provider, so make sure they can add something into your already established life so they will have "more reason" to stay.
And a last tip for the women that are shopping and take the phone to make a date with their man: don’t phone him! Most likely he will be in the midst of something, and being a male single-tasker, he will not be able to answer you in a positive matter, the conversation will stalk and both will be left with a bad lingering feeling.
Always remember: women multitask, men don’t, so make life easy for them and let them call you: same man, complete different attitude: sure resulting in a date and happy feeling all together.
- Butterflies…. they come at any age, so accept them when they come. Most likely your date has them as well, so you can both laugh them away and get on with your dating.
- Prepare questions: women like me suddenly (depends one the guy…) can go braindead, shy men suddenly run out of steam… always make sure you have some extra questions ready to keep any conversation going.
Dating over 40 advice for men and women
- Keep it real! Stay honest and don’t exaggerate. Of course you want to give a positive impression of themselves , but don’t go overboard. Describe in your profile who you really are, not who you wish to be.
Of course the personal profile of your potential date will differ a bit from reality . Finding out who you are really meeting? Send many mails and chat! For the guys on video chat: look presentable, both yourself as your house. The ladies don’t want to see a sharp dressed interior designer, but they do want to see a neat and clean partner in a neat and clean environment.
- Post a picture of yourself. When you are seriously looking for a date , showing your picture is very important (read also how to make a good profile picture described in these online dating tips for men). Singles with photos receive about 10 times as many responses as personals without pictures! Just keep in mind : a picture never gives a full impression of a person, it will only give a first impression.
- Describe not only yourself, but also your ideal partner. To avoid getting unnecessary messages from other members, it is wise to add in your profile who your ideal partner is. The more information you give about yourself and about who you want to meet, the bigger the chance of getting a date.
This prevents many disappointments, saves you a lot of time not having to get messages from every Tom, Dick and Harry (Or Tina, Ann and Wendy). It also gives people who read your profile an easy opening to respond.
- Show interest in nice members. In all totally free online dating sites, you can send as many winks, pokes… as you want, so do send them to members who seem to be nice people. A simple and good first step is showing that you like what you see.
- Send real messages to fun members. In most serious dating sites, paying members can send unlimited messages to others. Send only messages to fun members so you will build a contact base.
Keep it fun, don’t push nor pressure the other member like immediately asking for a date (or worse, sending love poems to a complete stranger…), but gradually build your acquaintance. Of course, genuine compliments are always allowed! Simply start with a short message to gauge the interest of the other and other than that it’s basic pub manners: people don’t give their phonenumber because you just took the chair next to them.
- Invite members in an online chat. On most serious sites, you will be able to see who is online. Just invite another person for a chat . Not only fun, but also a bit more personal than sending a message. And who knows it might well work out immediately, at least you will know how real the person on the other end of the webcam is: that’s the advantage of chatting.
- Welcome new members. A great strategy: "The early bird catches the worm ." When you are amongst the first people to contact a new member, they will (be able to) spend more attention and time with you.
- Elaborate on what the other person wrote in his or her profile. Show that you have read the entire profile and respond to what is appealing for you. Elaborate on listed items of the person’s profile (an expression, a distinct hobby, a favorite book or movie…), show your interest and ask questions. Especially men need to show that they are listening, so repeat what has been written or said already.
Not only repeat (you are not a parrot!): obviously also reveal a little more about yourself: not just your age and profession: make sure the communication goes equally in both directions: ask what you want to have revealed and reveal as much as you are asking.
- Set realistic goals. Hoping to hook a Brad Pitt or Jennifer Aniston? Do know that you’re not the only one to respond to a gorgeous profile, so make sure you are a possible match for the other.
Of course miracles do happen… But you need to make sure whether you really have the X – factor to date the most gorgeous profile on the dating site. Angelina Jolie got what it took… Having a good grasp on knowing who you are will lead to success. If you for example hang out in rich men dating sites, you better be rich yourself or at least show that you are ambitious (unless these men are looking for a bimbo, but that’s not who you are.
- Be flexible about traveldistance. If you’re just looking for a date in your immediate neighborhood, you will be in for the very long run. When you broaden your willingness to travel, so you will increase your chances of finding a good match. International dating sites will help you out with travel-arrangements and the like, so you can focus on finding your date.
- Be original. Once you start emailing with multiple people at once, it is tempting to cut and paste parts of one email into another. If you think this strategy will work, you are actually looking for a "general" person that can easily be seduced. Good for making short term friends.
If you are looking for a serious relationship, put in an equally serious effort: personal emails with specific questions and answers will work in your favor to keep your potential date interested and engaged.
- Aim for a maximum of two big, established dating sites. To increase your chance of meeting a new person, you could subscribe to a multitude of sites. But once you start, a flood of emails from potential matches will overwhelm you. They will end up unread… Or you will start answering fast and impersonal, maybe mix up people and before you know it you spent a lot of money, time and energy for little to no result.
So focus your attention to one or two dating sites only.
Live begins at 40: make sure you feel happy with yourself, follow the above dating tips, sign up in 1 or 2 serious dating sites – preferably those that organize events and travel – and enjoy dating over 40. Once you find your match, leave a comment!