Online Dating First Message

You’ve got mail: a message from the gorgeous person you send a msg to a few hours ago… Goal for today is: how to get a message back from a person you contact?

Today you will learn how to approach a person with a gorgeous profile on a dating website. Do make sure you have a great profile up and running yourself at Totally Free Personals or any other dating site, using the tips from our previous emails.

The great advantage of online dating is that you can approach every person without having the sweat showing on your face nor lifting up your bum, managing your way to a crowded space fearing a slap in the face and everybody laughing at you for the wrong reason. Online dating makes it easy to contact a few new people a day, no sweat.

Be better than the person you contact

Bill Gates once said: "if you can’t make it work, at least, make it beautiful". Now Bill looks like a true garage nerd, yet he does have ‘something’ to offer that’s better than you and me: a huge business and a huge charity. Will Bill stand out with his profile picture? Not really, unless you love nerds. But he still stands out in what he does best: "best" being better than the person he would love to date, should he be looking that is…

An example: suppose you are a man and you see a gorgeous girl on a dating site but you look like a nerd. So how to be "better than the person you contact"? You could make a jòke out of it and say you look like Bill Gates, but better is to dig deeper in the other person’s profile: find something you do at least as good. If she loves to tràvel but all her pictures are taken in her country, tell her you love to tràvel worldwide (if that is the case of course, always tell the truth). Chances she would love to tràvel abroad as well, but is lacking the confidence to venture out to countries she is unfamiliar with or where she doesn’t speak the language.

If you can add something she doesn’t have or you do better, then she wants to know more about you for sure! Why does a dog do anything you ask? Because he wants the treat that you have and he doesn’t. Good enough to get a first contact that is meaningful to react to.

7 tips to write a first message that will be answered

  1. KISS: "Keep It Short and Simple": 5 to 10 sentences at most. Follow the rule of give and take: the other person hasn’t given you anything, so keep in balance and don’t scare them away by giving too much.
  2. Don’t mention sèx. Yes, we do have to repeat that for the male reader here: all women know what men are thinking, but they don’t want to hear it in your first message.
  3. Don’t mention love. Same logic: we are dating to find love, but the rule of give and take says you need to know the person better before going into a date, let alone talk about love.
  4. Check your spelling and grammar: every computer has a Spelling Check, use it.
  5. Make sure what you write relates to what you read in the other person’s profile. Meaning read the complete profile before writing any message down.
  6. Add a call to action.
  7. A man to woman first message needs to have a subjectline that in a playful way gives some critique to the girl that she "needs" to correct like: "Please send your real profile picture coz I’m sure the one you show is from a Filipino celebrity" . Playful as you say she is gorgeous. The call to action is: ‘send a real picture’. Most likely you will get some bonus pictures to show she is a real person but most importantly: once she answers back, the ice is broken and things will become easier.

For today: remember that all you want to achieve with your first message is to get a message back. If no response within a week, try a KISS follow up like: "I imagine you have to delete 100 freaky emails a day and you hate routine jobs, so just click reply to this one, add what flips through your mind and press send! :-) "